This will be my first post on Geocaching and unfortunately it is not necessarily a "good thing" type post. I recently made a comment on a Forum of one of the clubs that I belong to and it was a mistake. It was something I said in public that probably should have been said in private to the individual concerned. The resulting fervor that was created was crazy.
I am a quiet, conservative type individual who makes every effort to get along with all that I meet but occasionally I run into someone who just makes my hair stand on end. I have always had a "sixth sense" about people and I would say that about 99% of the time, my first impression about someone is dead on. This has applied to co-workers, friends of my kids, people from church, and just about any venue you can think of. It is almost as if they have one of those cartoon sayings over their heads reading "Bad Egg."
Back to the point - the comment I made was to a cacher who I thought had made an inappropriate comment or "joke" in a public setting. Granted, he had every right to make the joke but I just thought it was time for the subject matter to be laid to rest. I offered what I really thought was "fatherly advice" and hoped it would kind of soak in. I like the guy to whom I made the comment but all of a sudden I was treated with such ugliness, I might as well have been some sort of monster. The emails, pm's, and responses started to fly fast and furious and not a single one of them could see why I made the post. It was to me absolutely ridiculous. All I wanted to do was help make some peace but these people couldn't see past their territory and thought it was a direct slam on them. The funny part was that many of these comments were from people who had never made a single effort to say hello or speak to me at any of the events I attended. They don't know me or have any knowledge about how I think or what I am about, yet they chose to lambast me. The bad part is that I let them get my goat and responded in kind and eventually resigned from that organization. Unfortunately I made another post on a different forum relaying my impression of the absurdity. I said a few things I should have and have since regretted them. I was just hurt and mad. Bad combination when you have the power of a keyboard at hand. The funny part - the individual who I made the comment to, well we communicated and got our feelings aired to each other and are back on I think an even keel. There are no hard feelings from me towards him and I think he thinks the same towards me.
Some of the comments made to me publically and via PM were rude, uncalled for, and downright mean. I was accused of allegiance to another group over theirs, accused of being totally immature, and basically, told to get the hell out of Dodge. To say I was amazed at these reactions would be an understatement. As for allegiance to any group, I show allegiance to God and Country but I don't have the kind of allegiance to any other group that would spark any of these comments. I may be more attuned to certain groups because of more social interraction, but I joined multiple groups to learn more about the hobby - not to isolate myself into a little group who seemingly has a hatred for anyone who does not think or act like them. That sort of behavior reminds me of the extremists who live in compounds and demand your service to them and that you pay homage to their ideals and beliefs.
To be fair, I have met some super people in all the groups to which I belong, but I have also met some in each group who have the little cartoon clouds over their heads. Such is life. You will never get along with everyone you meet because that is what makes us human - we all have our differences. I guess in this one particular group, not thinking like they do and having your own opinions is verboten. Funny thing, I recently quit a pretty good job over that same issue.
I am one of the most easy going people you will ever meet. I am laid back and never afraid to go out on a limb to help a friend. I don't give a plug nickle about who you know, what you know, or what group you belong to. If you are my friend, you can count on me to help if I can.
In summary, I'm still caching. I will miss a couple of events I was really looking forward to attending with my duaghter today, but I know for the most part I would not be welcome anyway.
Hopefully, my next post will be on an upbeat note. I am on a quest for 500 but the heat has kept me inside for the most part. I have been job hunting and taking care of "honey-do lists" and it has been stressful and exhausting, especially those lists. I did have an interview yesterday and felt pretty good about it. Stay tuned.
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5 comments:
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Robert. I've enjoyed the few times we've gotten to meet at events, though with me now 1,800 miles away, it may be a while before the next one. From an online persective, I respect your opinions, even if I sometimes disagree (though, I haven't so far). I'm glad you're still caching. NO group or individual (including myself) should prevent anyone from doing what they enjoy!
I look forward to whippin your tail in fantasy football this year, too! LOL!
(PS. Having checked your blog often since you first posted it in the forums, it was nice to finally see something new!) ;^)
Hey Robert!! Thanks for the interesting post. I KNOW that had to be a trying time for you. A logical mind makes things like that hard to understand. You obviously have a logical mind! You are right about some of the good people in that organization. I have spoken in depth with a couple of them and I really like them. There are others to whom I can't relate. I stopped worrying about them long ago. Life it too short!
I saw your post and then the responses and I thought, OMG, I can't believe they are responding like this. There were some very rude, mean, and ugly responses.
I'm glad you survived that ordeal. I can't wait to see you guys at the next GOWT event.
BTW, how was the volleyball game?
What a great post! Thanks for taking the time to write it. I know it has weird watching grown people behave this way...oh wait...maybe some AREN'T grown. ;-)
You are a good man, Robert. Someday I hope to re-earn your respect. It may not be today. ;-)
The conflict has gone way to far and the end does not appear anywhere on the horizon. Heck, I got into hot water that prior to hosting an event in March, that I would not put up with any bickering at the event. There has been some good will gestures with some JAG members attending GOWT events and some members attending JAG events. But still, there is conflict.
As for my allegience, I fly only the colors of the Red, White and Blue and have carried a loaded M-16 assault rifle to protect those colors.
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